People just do not get it if you say this. Most people dread venturing out in the Southern California heat, but I crave it after being in an overly air conditioned building. Being cold in the summer does not feel good to me, and I need to take many little walks in the heat to warm up. If it were up to me, I would probably just never run the air conditioner and have a fan going with the window open. I just will never be a fan of air conditioning, and no longer feel like I have to explain myself to the majority who love it. My coffee consumption goes up in air conditioned buildings just so I can feel toasty. I dread wearing a sweater in the summer time, and I feel like this very air conditioning based world of today makes it impossible to go without one.
The more you think about it, you have to know your own narrative. What do your know to be true? Some things are true, and some things are gray. Sometimes the truth is in the eye of the beholder. Before I was always so reserved about stating my opinion about anything, but then a decade ago I started posting on forums and blogs sharing my opinion, but I have come to realize some of that was influenced by larger dynamics. It is okay to change your opinion, and as my teachers always said, you should question things and not just go along with what you are told. In other words, write your own narrative. Even if you are hearing everywhere that this is the way things are supposed to be, perhaps that is just people going along with what some influencers want.
So what is my own narrative? I am a pacifist who prefers peace, but who knows that is not possible for all. I am mediator type who now just wants to find common ground with people rather than jump to a conclusion or call people names. In the last two years, my inquisitive mind has been on overdrive, and I am learning to listen to others more. I have always been someone people feel comfortable confiding in, but this can span to other topics, even contentious ones. Everyone thinks they are right about certain issues, but nothing is absolutist. I am going to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume there are good people in the world until someone shows me otherwise. Yes, there is a lot of bad stuff as well, but how will we find the positive when we are always mired in what is not working? Can there be a better solution for things? There could be, but when people say it is one way or the other, I am usually just opting not to get involved. Or, I am looking to the people who have solutions and are inclusive of others.
This is when I have decided I know my own narrative and will speak my own mind about things where I feel comfortable. I will just work on my little art projects and be a little vegan hippie type. My parents started out that way they first moved to California, so perhaps it was always encoded in me. Being a pioneer of sorts, finding my own way in life, and just doing things a bit differently. That is what works for me. I guess everyone is seeking out what works for them. Peace comes in knowing it okay to speak your mind at times, and not fall in with any certain group. I can be friends with many types of people, and I also just enjoy solitary time alone thinking and working on things. People are very multifaceted, just like the water shimmering on the lake at noon.
I met a man who used to talk about his future fantasy and the women he would be dating in his forties. As if we really care who he thinks he will date when he is 49, and his fantasy about the twenty-two year old bimbo just makes him a lecher. For some reason in my twenties I was a magnet for ego driven guys who worshiped their reflection in the mirror, although most of them were not model types by any standard. They should all go play the song your so vain and adore their images for a few hours each night. The truth is I have just never met a nice guy really. Sure they exist, but when I used to date it seems the ego maniacs always came my way. I actually think being single is the best, but maybe I feel this way because I have been single most of my life.
I am glad other people enjoy dating, I just do not see the point at all when it comes to myself. Each day I feel happy and content when I consider I have a day to go walking, reading, do art work, or surfing the Internet. Yes I am an introvert, and time spent with family is just so much more appealing than going on dates. I am not saying I will never date again, but it is going to take an extraordinary chance encounter for me to change my mind. All those years ago my grandma told me I was going to become the old maid with such disdain, and it looks like I might just be that. The irony is I embrace this and actually think it could be fun.